October 2010
Healthy Life
We have family and we have friends but still there is this void inside us and, to fill this space and feel complete, we need the significant other. That’s where a boyfriend comes in.
Every girl wants to meet the perfect guy, fall in love, have the ideal house and kids someday. The “happily ever after” dream probably sowed its seed in our hearts from the very day that we picked up our first fairy tale. Between Cinderellas, Prince Charmings and the magical Godmothers, we began weaving our own dream.
I went to an all girl convent school and like for my fellow mates, boys were of a completely different species for me. Boys were rude, stubborn and haughty; a nonsensical lesson learnt from uncountable disagreements during the numbered outing
and camping sessions in the companionship of boys from the neighbouring school. Middle school was spent hating the males, fighting with them and disagreeing on every possibility. It wasn’t one sided either. The only time when I saw a guy under romantic lights was in the movies or in the tall tales of romance that seniors shared in the school buses.
Those were the uncomplicated days when boys annoyed us and always picked on us. Soon after came the age of crushes. Giggles and rosy blushes heavily filled the air and all we could talk about was boys; how cute they were and how oblivious they were of our feelings. Latest “hook-ups” and “breakups” were the top notch gossip (it still is) but back then nothing was really serious. Hormones triggered puppy love and infatuations ruled the relationships.
When I compare those days with the present, I see a drastic difference. Back in my times, boyfriends and relationships weren’t actually encouraged. Dating was a risky business and even a male friend (without romantic linkage) was questioned. Especially if the girl was seeing somebody, she was frowned upon. Now, as I walk down the street, a lot of couple pass me by and they aren’t even that old. Everyone seems to have a companion and thanks to the media and western influence Nepalis are becoming more comfortable with the idea.
The rate of love marriages has gone up. Gone are the days when a girl’s life partner was decided by her parents. The 21st century women are more upfront and are courageous enough to ask a guy out. There are many successful relationships where girls have broken the conventional rule and made the first move. Countless controversial news appears on newspaper and television every Valentine’s Day and on other days too. Everyone seems to have a boyfriend and those who don’t, seem to need one. When there are countless numbers of feminist movements all across the globe why is it so important to have a boyfriend?
We have family and we have friends but still there is this void inside us and, to fill this space and feel complete, we need the significant other. He will always be there to support you when the whole world has turned its back on you and to fulfil you emotionally and physically. Everyone needs that special someone who is willing to put up with all your quirks and love you in spite of them. Very often, people fall in love and fall out of love but this isn’t something to be depressed about. Rather, one should take the opportunity to grow and learn. You’re just one step ahead to finding your perfect match.
But, that is just my opinion. What do other people have to say? “I wouldn’t go so far as to say that having a boyfriend is essential but it is always nice to know that you have someone you can watch a movie with or hang out with when your friends are busy”, says Nevidita Lamsal, a 24-year-old software engineer who is currently dating. Yeshida Lama who has been committed to a guy for the last four years says, “A good relationship brings emotional fulfilment and security.” Sudima Malla who is currently in a live-in relationship states, “My relationship might not be the best one but at the end of the day I love to be in the arms of my guy.” Sita Ghale however begs to differ! She believes in single life because it is more adventurous and has less strings attached when it comes to flirting.
These opinions aside, some people are ambivalent about relationships and there are more important things in life than putting so much effort in making relationships work. While some of us may savour being a single, free spirit at 40, and others might need a companion at every step of their life, it is absolutely an individual choice to be single or not. For those who are not sure whether they are ready to face the dating scene yet these are the things you might want to consider.
- It feels good to have a boyfriend.
- Everyone loves the feeling of being loved.
- Getting through a horrible time is easier when you have someone to share your misery with.
- You need someone to share the joys too.
- A girl needs bear hugs and reassuring compliments every now and then.
- Being in a loving relationship makes it easier to cope with the strains of working life. People who are in long-term relationships are more laid-back and less stressed.
- You probably spend less time at the pub. Being respectful to your significant other, you’re more likely to cut back on the booze and smoke less.
- We like having something to do on weekends and in the evenings.
- Gifts and treats can never be enough.
- A male companion always wards off the creeps.
- At the risk of sounding selfish, they are always around when you need a ride especially when you broke your heel!